Attentive.
I want to be attentive to the Presence of You, Jesus. To be attentive to the sound of Your Voice, aware of the nearness of Your Glory, astounded by the sound of Your Heartbeat. I want to seek You as You come to me, to sense You, to know You, to love You.
I want to pour out all I am from my alabaster jar.
To lay down my nets.
To give You my last 2 coins.
To offer You my 5 loaves and 2 fish.
To come to You simply, like the little children.
To resist the crowds jeering like Simon and all of the holy women.
I want to follow You unreservedly like Peter and Paul and John and Andrew.
To minister to Your wounds and Your needs like Magdalene did.
To find joy in You like the little children.
To make room for You like Zaccheus.
To offer You the whole of my life like Therese and Elizabeth and all Your holy men and women.
To hold back nothing from You like all Your martyrs.
The holy ones were all attentive to You.
Nothing else held their gaze quite the way You did.
They were caught up, mesmerized, captivated by You.
They were laid bare, undone, surrendered before You.
I think about the ways I am caught up in my morning emails, in my distracted scrolls, in my schedules, in my errands, in my needs and wants. I think about all the ways I come to You with a laundry list before I let myself be satisfied by Your Presence.
But Lord, how much can be gained from an attentive heart?
How much glory would be revealed if I was attentive to the Kingdom within and around?
How much gratitude would I find if I saw You in absolutely all of it instead of only the places I “look” for You?
May I cultivate an attentive heart, for the reality is that in every single moment, Love is attentive to me.
I know by faith that the entirety of heaven will be an uninterrupted gaze of attentiveness to the Glory of God.
May I have the grace to cultivate the disposition to gaze upon You in all Your beauty here and now, so that when I am in Your Presence, I will be able to say with all sincerity, “How lovely is Your dwelling place, my Jesus. You are the One whom my soul has loved from the very first.”